Creative Space Online Counseling and Coaching ~ 1 (224) 623-2251

We are an online provider who provides therapy services for individuals suffering from anxiety in the Chicagoland area, mid Illinois, and Southern Illinois. We provide coaching services, anger management, and a tailored anxiety program for individuals living in the United States and Internationally.

7 Flirting Hacks that Actually Work

7 Flirting Hacks that Actually Work

Have you ever wondered if there is a psychological reason that some flirting techniques work and others do not? Well, there are reasons behind each flirting hack that we are going to share with you. So imagine, the cute guy/girl that you wanted so badly to talk to (but your anxiety is telling you that it’s not a good idea). Imagine getting the confidence to walk up to them and be able to talk to them. It doesn’t have to be as unnerving as it currently is. What if you had some science to back up that confidence? Read on to find out.

7 Flirting Hacks

* Eye contact- Try not to stare them down. We are not trying to scare people away. When I’m talking about eye contact, I’m talking about looking into their eyes while they are talking. Why does this work you may ask? It works because eye contact while they are talking portrays that you are listening to them. It validates them and creates a bond.

*Wear red- Have you ever thought about what different colors mean to you? Did you know that red, as a color, statistically attracts people? It’s why red cars statistically get more tickets from cops. Our eyes are naturally drawn to red. It goes back to our primitive days when we would constantly be on alert. This color draws people in. If you want the person to be drawn to you, wear red. They may not realize it, but subconsciously, they will be drawn to talk to you.

*Sense of Humor- If you are able to make the person laugh (in some way), it will do a couple of things. Immediately, you are perceived as friendly, and laughing releases endorphins, which makes the person happy. Those happy emotions will be associated with you.

*Play Hard to Get- People tend to like challenges, and if you make yourself too available to someone, they may lose interest. It’s more fun to chase someone than to be handed the person. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Plus, if you are constantly trying to hang out with the person, you may come off as needy (which can be perceived as unattractive). If you make yourself harder to obtain, it makes the person work for your attention, and thus your time becomes more valuable.

*Mirroring Body Language- People tend to be drawn to what is familiar to them. If you are mirroring body language, the person will be more open to talking to you. Subconsciously, as you are mirroring body language, they will be drawn to you, because you are familiar (and thus you are safe). For example, if they are standing in a certain way (legs apart or leaning to one side), you can mirror what they are doing. If they talk with their hands, you can do that too. If they are leaning on their hand as they talk to you, you can mirror it.

*Matching Tone of Voice- Similar to body language, people are drawn to what is familiar to them. If they are talking to you in a rapid, excited manner, you can mirror that in your own voice. If they are talking quietly, you can do that too. Subconsciously, this says to the person that you are someone who can be trusted.

*Touch Their Forearm for 1-2 Seconds- Touch is associated with a variety of different things. It can be used as a way to bond with someone. It can be used to assert dominance. For example, there was a study done where a guy asked several women to dance. When he implemented the 1-2 second forearm touch, women were more likely to comply with his request. How can you use this? When asking someone on a coffee/tea date, touch his or her forearm for 1-2 seconds.

Life Skills

*There are a variety of different areas (other than flirting) where you can use these skills. For example, you can use them in the workplace- using matching of the tone of voice or mirroring body language to help someone feel more comfortable. If one of your coworkers or employees is having problems, you can give them eye contact when they are talking to help them feel heard.

Still Need Help?

Our main focus is helping people. If you need help (and tips and tricks are just not doing it for you), you can reach out and give us a call to schedule something. We are here to guide and help you reach your goals, whether that’s personal or professional. Send us an email at See you on the flipside!

Creative Space Online Counseling and Coaching

Barbara Maulding, NCC, LCPC