Creative Space Online Counseling and Coaching ~ 1 (224) 623-2251

We are an online provider who provides therapy services for individuals suffering from anxiety in the Chicagoland area, mid Illinois, and Southern Illinois. We provide coaching services, anger management, and a tailored anxiety program for individuals living in the United States and Internationally.

What You Should Know About the Concept of Self Love

What you should know about the concept of love

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have sufficient boundaries so that when people make nasty comments it doesn't bother you?

When I talk about self love, I am talking about not just being good to yourself, though that counts too. 

I am talking about being physically and mentally prepared for whatever your days may bring. 

I tell people that self love means putting on armor, so that when you go out for battle (i.e. life), you are not going to be shredded to bits and pieces. 

What is Self Love?

*When I meet people, especially those struggling with anxiety or anger, I find that people do not spend enough time on themselves. 

*I am not talking about turning into narcissistic people. 

*I am talking about getting to know yourself. 

*Often times, when you are in the moment, something may really bother you or drain you. 

*Someone's comments may have lingering effects on you.

*Someone's actions may really take a toll. 

*One of the things I tell people is that it is an absolute must that you spend time working on yourself, spending time with yourself (yes, even my extroverts need to be recharged :) ), and spending time getting to know you. 

Why It Works

*What this does is it allows you to come back to a level playing field. 

*For example, Suzy said I was fat. 

*Why does it bother me?

*It bothers me, because it was rude, and a part of me thinks that it might be true. 

*Why does a part of me think it might be true?

*I feel like my clothes don't fit like I want them to, and I don't have the energy that I would like to have. 

*Okay, so now that I know this about myself, now what?

*What can I do?

*I can do some toning exercises to work on the areas that are bothering me. 

*This will help me feel more confident and have less anxiety about meeting Suzy again. 

*See? This is an example of giving yourself time to process through the thoughts. You can't do that unless you give yourself time and space to do that. 

*When I talk about putting on armor, I am talking about making yourself aware of those thoughts before someone else does. 

*I am talking about also noticing the good parts about you too. 

Putting on Your Armor

*I know some people will avoid spending time alone with themselves to avoid all those negative thoughts that may come flooding in. 

*There is a trick to this. When the thoughts come in, give them space by doing the following: close your eyes, acknowledge the thought, take a deep breath in, take a deep breath out while focusing on the thought, push the thought out of your mind and move on. 

*The thoughts are there, and acknowledging them will help you to get rid of them faster. 


*I have had people tell me that they stuff negative thoughts and emotions in a "I'll deal with you later" box.

*Problem is they never want to deal with them, so later becomes never. 

*The box gets bigger with festering thoughts and negative emotions. 

Still Need Help?

*I would be happy to help you. 

*Anxiety is something that you should not have to deal with alone. 

*Visit to request an appointment. 



Creative Space Online Counseling and Coaching

Barbara Maulding, NCC, LCPC